If you like comedy, PR or the occasional inside scoop on the entertainment world, then drop by for a daily dose written by me, Kambri Crews, producer and publicist to comedians and more!   Tuesday, August 31, 2004 My, What Big Ears You Have Today's your lucky day, my friends, because I have a scanner: If that picture weren't enough, my client/luvah Christian Finnegan is on McEnroe tonight. I know, you're freaking out right now, aren't you? You and the 49,999 other people in the WORLD that watch that show. Settle down, he'll be performing live for you, yes YOU, tomorrow night at Caroline's (see below) and Sob Stories returns on Tuesday, September 7th. Knock on wood, David Cross is almost booked to appear. --Kambri Photo of Jan Tim by Luis C. Ribeiro for the NY Post. Link - 9:27 PM -   Monday, August 30, 2004 Sightings Vanessa Williams leaving EMI Music Publishing and riding down the elevator with two of her daughters and me. Early tomorrow morning, I'll be welcoming guests to a breakfast held by my firm. Larry King is the most notable guest. I look forward to meeting him, but am most interested in meeting some folks with IMG with whom I conversed many times over the past few years but have yet to meet face to face. At 8:30 in the morning, I hope I have my wits about me. Lordy that's early. I can't believe I used to have to show up to work by 8:00. Banker's hours my arse! --Kambri What to wear, what to wear? Link - 7:27 PM -   Sunday, August 29, 2004 The Republican Intervention After you're done reading about my most awesome trip to L.A., check out this event here in NYC: Are you overdosing on all the Republicans in the City? Then The Republican Intervention is your path to sobriety from the right wing. Stand up comedian Joey Gay (Law & Order) hosts The Republican Intervention, an evening of comedy at world famous Carolines geared towards New Yorkers and tourists looking for an escape from the influx of conservatives in New York City. Join Joey and featured comics Louis Ramey (The Tonight Show, The View), Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever), DC Benny (Last Comic Standing) & Jesse Adams for an evening of UN-conventional laughs. Carolines 1626 Broadway (at 50th Street) Call 212.956.0101 for reservations and ticket info. Doors open at 7:00 PM --Kambri Home. Link - 11:24 PM -   Saturday, August 28, 2004 Home, Sweet Home Back in New York and am happy to be home. I went to the final taping of The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn. Christian's friend, Chris Deluca, is a writer for the show and did a bit in the beginning where he choked on pastry and Craig gave him the heimlich. Then Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Adam West, Marlee Matlin, Martin Mull and Nikki Zeiring did some stuff and then Christian's other friend, Julius Sharpe (Goldy on the show) danced with Craig, et. al. and then it was over. We chatted in the hallway with Chris & Julius awhile and turned down offers of free food & booze in the green room so we could wander the hallways of CBS's various studios in "Television City". We ventured down one floor and I cracked open the door -- not locked?!?!?! -- to find a giant glittery green price tag about the size of my apartment with the words The Price is Right emblazoned on its face. We were THISCLOSE to doing "it" on a giant red and white boat about the size of my apartment named the "S.S. Price". And by "it", I mean screwing. I'm not sure if Bob would have been angry or impressed to know that his ship had been christened (yeah, right, like no one else has), but we decided to pick up our stuff from security and dine on Mexican at El Compadre rather than "rock the boat" during our last night in LA. Live mariachi bands and refried beans vs. sex on oversized, sequined props I've seen on television since the day I was born. Hmmm...not sure I made the right choice. I forgot to tell you that I met Jay Maynard, aka "Tron", in the Jimmy Kimmel Green Room. Although he lives in Minnesota now, he's originally from Houston, Texas -- hence his southern accent -- and knew all about Montgomery, Texas, the tiny little town I called home during my youth. --Kambri Too tired to write proper. Link - 11:23 PM -   Friday, August 27, 2004 La La Land My visit to LA has been terrific -- fun and productive. The showcase Wednesday night was well attended by "industry" and all performers turned in fantastic performances -- most notable, besides Christian, of course, were Ted Alexandro and Dave Mordal. Afterwards, we all dined next door at Greenblatt's and called it a night. Yesterday consisted of dining at IHOP, checking emails, playing Scrabble poolside during which I used all seven letters ("Answer") on a triple word score, hanging out in the Jimmy Kimmel Green Room (yes, the same Green Room that was featured on HBO's Entourage a couple of weeks ago), watching The Cure perform five songs behind the Kimmel studio after the show and watching Christian perform at the LA Improv before calling it a night. A pretty full and surreal day. Today has consisted of dining at IHOP, checking emails and writing this entry before we head to Grauman's Chinese Theater and attend the final taping of The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn. LA ain't so bad so far. --Kambri Gotta run, this is costing me .30 a minute! Link - 9:00 AM -   Wednesday, August 25, 2004 Anguilla Redux I was able to relive my experience in Anguilla today during a phone interview for a piece about the Caribbean isle. I'll post it when it eventually runs. It was a nice trip down memory lane reliving the tortois beaching on the shore to lay eggs and the giant spider trying to rape me. Ah, memories. Off to LA to create some more. I'll write from the road as this is a business trip, my friends. Major moving and shaking will be performed by all. --Kambri Mover and shaker. Link - 11:35 PM -   Monday, August 23, 2004 New Letter From My Jailed Deaf Dad Happily his letter was not the demanding, angry, accusatory letter that found me last time. No, this one was quite possibly his best letter ever. It started out like this: Dear my Sweetheart daughter. I'm so happy to get a letter. Thanks so much One thing I want to say Sorry... That's cool. I'm exciting to have some money from you. Don't worry it. I will pay you back when I get released!! Oh boy I can't wait to buy toothpaste and deordant. He is totally guilting me into getting on the ball on this task. It totally works. You are wrong what kind of ice cream. I'm choice is Strawberry :o) Ah, yes, I remember now. On rare occasions, my mother would buy Neopolitan ice cream and I only ate the chocolate -- vanilla in a pinch. There had to be a reason why she would bother buying what to me seemed like such a poor choice. Someone had to eat the pink stuff. He then writes about how he owes money to the correction facility for all the paper and envelopes he purchased, that he's moving to another wing that houses 80 other deaf, mute inmates and that: Most of them are low education levels. For the record, my dad has a high school diploma. Despite what his poor writing skills might indicate, he has a very high IQ. He attended school years before "mainstreaming" became common practice. He lived in a dorm, away from his parents, every school year beginning at age 5. They didn't bother trying to teach students how to fit in with a speaking society, because at the time the speaking society didn't want them. I digress. I'm unecessarily delaying you from reading the best part: Last week, my friend gave me ice cream for first time, you know lots of inmates are selfish, back stabber, stealing, liars and fighting. I don't have any troubles with them because They know me so well after 4 times I had fought & beat them up. I'm old man and good fighter Ha. SH Sh! :o) . I try to avoid interaction with inmates, so I was unaware of those negative qualities which they possess. However, they sound remotely like actors. Is he sure he's dealing with inmates and not the star of a yet to be released reality show? Oh, and you won't tell anyone he's a good fighter, will you? WILL YOU?! --Kambri Ice cream is a powerful thing. I'd better send him money soon. Link - 6:40 PM -   Sunday, August 22, 2004 This, That and the Other Check this out. I will never understand why famous art pieces get stolen -- unless you're a filthy rich collector of rare and beautiful things simply because you can keep them with no one knowing the truth -- the piece becomes worthless and you become a wanted man. I was at a going away party Friday night and this man was in attendance, as well. I meant to see The Station Agent; I don't know why I didn't. Anyway, looking into his filmography, I noticed this movie set for release in 2006. I love the premise. I hope it lives up to its potential to be dark and vile and cruel and crude. I wish I had known to ask Peter himself. Here's a pic of Tom Shillue & Christian at the after party celebrating the taping of their half hour specials for Comedy Central Presents. Their specials should air sometime in January or February. Meanwhile, Christian and I are travelling to LA to meet his manager's west coast partners. Christian will also perform at the original, LA Laugh Factory in a showcase for some movie biz types and I will visit at least one, but hopefully two friends that live nearby. One is an actress who just had a baby and is good friends with Bob Saget who just performed with Christian here at the NYC Laugh Factory, is a regular at the LA branch, and just attended my friend's baby's briss. What a a small, strange world the entertainment industry is. Here's a pic of me & Christian toasting his successful Comedy Central Presents taping. I wish life was like that picture. It's not. But lately, it's been pretty close. --Kambri Liz Smith Wannabe Link - 1:04 PM -   Saturday, August 21, 2004 Meow Mix Cafe Follow Up I developed the photos from the Meow Mix Cafe Grand Opening. People kept expressing doubt at the idea. Cats don't like being around other cats. So, much to my surprise, I found mellow cats everywhere. See, here is a bunch of kitties sitting on a table enjoying some fine dining with their owners. Notice the big zoom lens in the lower right hand corner and how the little baby is staring directly into the lens. It was so adorable it made me almost want a cat for a whole 20 seconds. Then I walked away and played some games before running into Eartha Kitt. --Kambri Dog lover. Link - 11:12 AM -   Thursday, August 19, 2004 Nothing to do Friday night? Go here: Friday, August 20th Sweet Paprika at The Village Lantern 167 Bleecker Street @ Sullivan 8:30pm - $5.00 Check out the show Backstage hailed as a best bet for comedy. Hosted by Allison Castillo & Ophira Eisenberg, two women hand-picked by Comedy Central to tape episodes for the next season of Premium Blend. Also featuring Sean Conroy (Late Night with Conan O'Brien) Todd Levin (tremble.com), Andre DuBouchet (Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game), Amanda Melson (Eating It) and Peggy O'Brien (Co-creator of The Rules of Engagement). --Kambri Suffering from writer's block. Link - 11:50 AM -   Wednesday, August 18, 2004 Hmm, What Did I Do Today? I read news blurbs about last night's Meow Mix grand opening party. I escorted Christian to an interview with the Irish Echo for a feature story I scored for him. It should run next month. I scored a blurb for Sweet Paprika in Comedy Central's Spotlight Newsletter but I have yet to receive it. If and when I do, I'll post it. I had a meeting with two new clients in the lovely Bryant Park where HBO shows movies on Mondays. It was lovely and productive. They're just adorable people who have great chemistry and comic timing. I'll be building their client pages soon. Set your egg timers. Tomorrow will be the first day I've gone straight home after a full day. I'm exhausted, but I guess it's a good problem to have. --Kambri Very dull, I know. Link - 11:32 PM -   Tuesday, August 17, 2004 Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow I'm so sad my digital camera is on the fritz. I was at the grand opening of the Meow Mix Cafe's 5th Avenue locale which was a load of fun. I snapped photos using my cheap little disposable and on random occasions captured shots of the inside of my purse. Exclusive photos, I assure you. I did manage to get several shots of one Ms. Eartha Kitt and the giant Meow Mobile -- after walking the red carpet, of course. I bought my pooch Paquita a new catnip toy that I've gotten free samples of on at least three prior occasions, and a box of 12 moist cat food pouches -- never mind that I do not own a cat. I was more than happy to spend the money though, because the proceeds for the night benefited the ASPCA, an organization to which I've assigned all of my life savings and 401k benefits in the event of my untimely and sure-to-be-tragic death. I was tempted to dress Paquita in a cat outfit and smuggle her in as a PR move. But, since my dear friend Keith worked so very hard on the event and will be babysitting said dog who will undoubtedly hang out in his office, I did not want to jeapordize his job and her upcoming play dates. It would have been a riotous coup, I tell you! --Kambri The press would have lapped it up faster than a bowl full of milk. Yes, I did just type that. Link - 11:47 PM -   Friday, August 13, 2004 Tonight, Tonight, Tonniggghhtt Sweet Paprika at The Village Lantern 167 Bleecker Street @ Sullivan 8:30pm - $5.00 Come see the show picked as one of the top ten standouts by Backstage! Allison Castillo & Ophira Eisenberg host comics Irene Bremis (Hysteria), Liam McEneaney (Comedy Central's Premium Blend) Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever) and Debbie Shea (Eating It). --Kambri Wooah, oh, oh! Link - 11:00 AM -   Wednesday, August 11, 2004 I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM! Letters from my Jailed Deaf Dad are getting more demanding. They are filled with request after request after request. Look up this, send me that, I want more. Here's his latest request: "I send you Trust Fund deposit slips if you can afford to give me some money (I will pay you back)! I'm hungry for ice cream at Commissary Store :o). Since 8 months I don't have any money. You know that I'm very patient and old big man! Ha. But about this time I wanna ice creams." Yes, he is so very patient, but a man has his limits. Give the man his ice cream or else he'll slit your throat. --Kambri I wonder if he'll get chocolate or vanilla. Link - 1:36 PM -   Tuesday, August 10, 2004 Oopsy In the kitchen this morning, I joked around with some random office dude whose name I do not know. He asked what the chocolately crumb cake thingy was and after a little banter back and forth I said, "Duh! Don't you know what a chocolate cum strip is?" Wellity, after a moment or three of complete silence I bounded down the hall laughing out loud at my faux pas and how neither of us decided to address it with the blunt innocence Ben the Spiderman possessed. (See below.) --Kambri Say it quickly five times: "Chocolate Crumb Strip" and see how well you do before your morning coffee! Link - 11:07 AM -   Monday, August 09, 2004 Random Superhero Weakness Sunday I hung around a kid who turns three years old today. His name was Ben and he was desperately trying to coax the adults into playing various games with him. At one point Ben donned a Spiderman outfit. That nearly sold me but I remained strong and resisted the urge to fly a plastic Superman doll through the air. During a bathroom break I noticed Ben had stripped himself of his superhero outfit and asked, "Hey, where's your Spiderman costume?" "I peed on it." He replied very matter of factly. He continued enthusiastically, "Come on let's play, come upstairs . . ." What? No hesitation? No shame? The freedom! Every so often someone would ask him where his outfit was and every time Ben would say, "I peed on it." Every time. How cool is that? I'm going to use that line all day tomorrow & see how it works for me. --Kambri Who knew Spiderman had bladder control issues? His superhero weakness is not being exploited by the villains properly. Link - 11:13 AM -   Sunday, August 08, 2004 Thank God it's Over. First, Christian was awesome. But, wow, what an anxiety-filled couple of days. My heart couldn't take it! I was speaking with the other comic's wife and asked her how she felt before he went up. "I wanted to vomit," she said without hesitation. Precisely the words I used earlier. So I knew that the stress and butterflies weren't from me being a kook or an over-attentive publicist, but more from being a woman concerned for her man who is about to do a very important thing in his career. At the after party, I really don't remember talking to anyone in particular or being a very good conversationalist. To my friends who were awesome enough to come out: I'm sorry! I was busy doing shots and expelling all the tension built up over five days. I am duly purged. Second, on Thursday night as I was hustling around preparing for the arrival of my new bed my cell phone rang. It was a Greek man who was trying to deliver something. I said he must have the wrong address. He said, "This is 347-555-1212?" Yes. "You are Kambri Crews?" Yes. "You have a flower delivery." Oh! Weird! I'll meet you outside. Sure enough a giant bouquet of giant sunflowers had my name written all over them. I burst into tears. Then I read the card, "To Robochris thank you for everything you do for me it could never be enough." Everything you do for me could never be enough? What the . . . ? Turns out the Greek florist wasn't so good at the English. --Kambri The flowers are lovely and I am tired. Nighty night! Link - 11:51 PM -   Thursday, August 05, 2004 Random Entry Men, I'm on to your little racket. I know you're not being chivalrous when you let women exit the elevator first. You're just getting a free gander at their ass. Um, what else? I have the biggest butterflies in my stomach for Christian's show tomorrow night. All 330 tickets have been accounted for since last week, sorry folks. Guess you'll have to wait for his HBO special. Bed bugs be damned. I'm getting a new bed delivered tomorrow. Woo! If you want see where I'll be spending the vast majority of the next 5 to 10 years, click here. Here is the new Ballyhoo Promotions Newsletter I created. Pretty nice looking, I think. There's lots more events, but I'm too swamped to enter them now. Check back later and refresh if you're interested. --Kambri Link - 10:51 AM -   Tuesday, August 03, 2004 Cheeeeeap Comedy Night FRIDAY, AUGUST 6TH Sweet Paprika at The Village Lantern 167 Bleecker St @Sullivan 8:30pm - $5.00 Join hosts Allison Castillo (Winner of ECNY's Best Female Comedian award) & Ophira Eisenberg (PSNBC, Best Week Ever) as they host featured comics: Lizz Winstead (creator of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart), Rena Zager (NBC's Late Friday), Von Von Von (Showtime at the Apollo) and Eric Kirchberger (Comedy Central's Premium Blend). --Kambri Nervous. Link - 11:17 PM -   Monday, August 02, 2004 Free tickets to Squeeze Box Complimentary tickets are available to SQUEEZE BOX -- written and performed by Ann Randolph, directed by Alan Bailey and produced by Anne Bancroft. The following performances are available: Tuesday, August 3 - 8 pm Wednesday, August 4 - 8 pm Please RSVP to me by Tuesday, August 3 at 11:00 AM. SQUEEZE BOX is a hysterical show about losing one's faith and getting it back again. Portraying a wide range of characters, Randolph takes the audience on a screamingly funny trip through her life as she juggles working the graveyard shift at a homeless shelter while falling in love with the accordionist of her dreams. The New York Times says: "Ann Randolph has a definite talent for sketch comedy! She lets everything go with her wilding expressive face and deadpan demeanor. It's clear what producer Anne Bancroft saw in Squeeze Box!" Producer Anne Bancroft says: ""When I first saw Squeeze Box, I was deeply moved. Ann Randolph’s amazing work, both as a writer and fellow performer, touched my heart and mind so profoundly that I felt it belonged on the New York stage." Winner - Best Solo Show2002 L.A. Weekly Theatre Award2002 L.A. Ovation Award Acorn Theatre @ Theater Row 410 West 42nd Street Visit www.squeezeboxny.com for more information. --Kambri Free, baby! Link - 4:57 PM -   SPANK! it at UCB Go see Ophira Eisenberg in her highlyacclaimed one-woman show HINDSIGHT! SPANK! The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater 307 W. 26th St. 9:30 PM - $5 Call 212-366-9176 for reservations or click here. Visit www.ballyhoopromotions.net for updates and other events. --Kambri Look at her client page: www.ballyhoopromotions.net/ophiraeisenberg.htm Link - 4:12 PM -