If you like comedy, PR or the occasional inside scoop on the entertainment world, then drop by for a daily dose written by me, Kambri Crews, producer and publicist to comedians and more!   Thursday, September 30, 2004 In the Papers The NPRI comedy fundraiser being held at the PIT on Monday, October 4th was listed in Time Out NY with a star. Ophira Eisenberg got a special mention in Time Out NY for the NYC Underground Comedy Festival. Her show Hindsight will be performed along with The Gray Area at The Barrow Group. Click here for more info on both shows, dates, times, prices, etc. Not to jinx it, but Sweet Paprika gets a star in Time Out NY every week now. NY Press listed both Sweet Paprika & the NPRI event in this week's issue, which also happens to be their annual "Best of New York" issue. It may not seem like a big deal to y'all, but I've been sending the editor my listings for years now with very little success. So, this rocks. --Kambri Link - 10:06 AM -   Wednesday, September 29, 2004 Tough Crowd Recap Christian did an amazing job on Tough Crowd last night, especially on a show where "first-timers" often eat it. They don't have re-runs, so if you missed it last night, it's your loss for forevvvah! The best line was in reference to a senate race where the male candidate repeatedly refers to his female opponent as a "nice lady". After much discussion, Judy Gold said, "How come no one ever calls me a 'nice lady'?" "Because you have a massive cock," Christian replied. Then an awkward cut to commercial. Awesome. --Kambri Add that to the reel, I say! Link - 1:49 PM -   Tuesday, September 28, 2004 Pardon Me While I Rant I'm just gonna come out and say it: Good Riddance! I'm so sick of families of criminals whining about how the cops overreacted or their (criminal) brother, son, father, cousin, nephew whatever didn't deserve to die, get beaten, whatever. The cops should have beaten my dad to an unidentifiable pulp before they so politely arrested him. He slit a woman's throat. He nearly severed her head. He stabbed her five times. Go ahead and fuck him with a splintery broomstick -- you have my permission, and I actually still love my dad dearly despite his crime. Now the family of this kid in the linked article hasn't complained (yet), but if they do I'll be the first one in line backing up the police. It wouldn't be an issue if the thug weren't up to no good in the first place, putting innocent people in danger and menacing society. Oh sure it is sad for any family to lose a loved one no matter what the course of death, but place blame where blame is due. Before you go and cry to the ACLU, I'm not advocating police violence - especially when that violence is towards an innocent or resulting from a minor offense. I'm simply saying that if one plays with fire, one is likely to be burned. A career criminal shouldn't be surprised to find his head bashed in some day by the police or anyone else. Okay, rant over, here's a reminder for you: Catch Christian Finnegan on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn tonight on Comedy Central at 11:30 EST where they get paid to debate topics like the one above. --Kambri Debating for free. Link - 10:37 AM -   Monday, September 27, 2004 Extended Run! Hindsight & The Gray Area will be featured in this year's New York City Underground Comedy Festival. Congratulations to them! Both shows will appear together, as they did before, at the Barrow Group. Here are the details: MONDAY, OCTOBER 4TH & SATURDAY OCTOBER 9TH The Studio Theatre @ The Barrow Group 312 West 36th Street 3rd Floor (at 8th Ave.) 8:00 PM - $10.00 212-841-0316 --Kambri I TOLD you they were great! Link - 10:01 AM -   Sunday, September 26, 2004 Weekend Update Mr. 3000 (don't ask) deserves the biggest, fattest thumbs down ever in the history of downard thumbing. Bernie Mac is charming as hell, but my lord! The most entertaining thing about wasting two hours of my life was eating a Quizno's sub whilst two Euro-trash guys behind me laughed at every minor thing...literally. We picked up our Gawker Stalked pottery today. I painted my butter dish to replicate a taxi cab and it worked. It's ugly, expensive and I wouldn't eat off it. Okay, the last part isn't true. I will eat butter off it the next time I have cause to eat in my apartment which will be in about 10 to 20 years (I love NY.) . . . right around the time my dad gets out of jail. While there, I painted Christian a jar to collect the mountains of loose coins he has in his apartment and he painted me a tri-section dish for that dinner I'll need to prepare once my dad is sprung from the clink. His change jar is going to rock. I opted against painting a phrase simply because I was sure the words wouldn't fit or it would look like crapola. But it was fun trying to come up with something clever: Change is inevitable. Change is good. Sex change operation fund. There were more, but I'll spare you. I took pics using a disposable camera I bought when my digital was on the fritz. I can't believe there was ever a time when I used regular cameras and had to wait for photos. How Amish. Afterwards we went to see another free movie courtesy of Loew's. Christian's movie pass is about to expire. Eek! Don't tell Christian, but free movies for over a year has been the best thing about dating him. Well, that, and his monstrous cock. Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow was a nice pit stop. It's by no means a classic that will spawn one too many sequels but it was visually stunning and a smart story. Gwyneth Paltrow had disappointing energy but, again, visually perfect for the stylized element they were shooting for. I got a free IPod some months ago and finally hooked it up. It is now loaded with Stevie Wonder Innervisions & Songs in the Key of Life , White Zombies La Sexorcisto, Los Lonely Boys' self-titled album & The Best of Sheryl Crow. --Kambri That'll be enough to last me awhile. Link - 11:22 PM -   Saturday, September 25, 2004 Labor Day Radio Special Listen to the Labor Day Special Christian Finnegan and I taped ages ago. Mine didn't make it on the air but may still be in the book. If you want something to listen to while you mill about your house today, listen to both hours. There are some interesting people, mostly political types, chatting about their first jobs and the lessons they learned. If you only want to hear Christian wax poetic about his job in a pizza parlor, his is the third interview in on hour one. They are big files, so please be patient. Labor Day Special, Hour One Labor Day Special, Hour Two Here's the official press release for the Nuclear Policy Research Institute Benefit I mentioned before. Demetri Martin AND a jug band, people! --Kambri How can you resist? Link - 1:38 PM -   Friday, September 24, 2004 On the Air With Ballyhoo Clients -- Catch Christian Finnegan on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn on Tuesday, September 28th. -- Jennifer Ostrega on The Nancy Skinner Show on Monday, October 4th. --Kambri Link - 10:31 AM -   Thursday, September 23, 2004 Who Says Nuclear Policy is No Laughing Matter? Ballyhoo Promotions is promoting a fundraiser benefiting the Nuclear Policy Research Institute. The event will be held on Monday, October 4th. We will have wine & munchies and a really fun jug band from 6:00 - 7:00 and comedy from 7:00 to 8:00ish. Demetri Martin, a writer for Conan O'Brien and dubbed the "voice of generation Y" will be performing along with some other great comics. Notable celebrities that have come out in support of NPRI include Alec Baldwin and some other people I can't think of. Also, Janeane Garofalo will be chatting about it tonight on her show Majority Report which airs every weeknight on Air America. The best part, every single cent earned will go to NPRI. That's right, the performers aren't even getting paid! The People's Improv Theater 154 West 29th Street Cocktails & Music - 6:00 PM Show – 7:00 PM Tax deductable tickets are $15. Reservations: 212.563.7488 --Kambri Link - 11:59 AM -   Wednesday, September 22, 2004 Quotes to Live By I attended a breakfast with Mark Cuban, Ron Insana, Brian Bedol & Hugh Panero this morning. It was all very interesting hearing their tales of risk and reward, entrepreunerial spirit, etc., but the most memorable quote came from Mark (actually his dad, whom Mark cited as his role model). The elder Cuban was remorseful for having not chased his dreams and warned Mark not to make the same mistake. He encouraged Mark to take risks and said, "You can fail many times, but you only have to be right once." And right once, he was. The last time I saw Mark, I hung out with him for way too many drinks and way too long into the night which turned into the next day. That night produced another memorable quote from him, "When you live in my world, you can do anything you want." --Kambri Indeed, in his world, you can. Link - 10:56 AM -   Tuesday, September 21, 2004 Dream Client I finally met Patton Oswalt last night. So funny and nice and funny and one of my favorite performers. He's fresh from taping his very own ONE HOUR special for Comedy Central and producing his own tour/documentary. Oh, if only I were shameless in my pursuit of him as a client. I'm not quite to the stage yet where I'll approach random performers and solicit their business. Not because I don't feel qualified, but more because I'm not sure how it will appear. Is it flattering to be wooed by a producer/publicist? So, Atlantic City was fun. Shi Ann Huang (Survivor) and Felisha Collins (The Late Show with David Letterman band) were judges for the Great American Karaoke Challenge put together by Dave Pena, the owner of Planet Rose. I'm no karaoke singer, but Planet Rose looks fun. I just might have to break out my theme song, "She's Got Balls". The Limo arrived at my apartment 30 minutes early Friday evening and waited for me to finish packing. We enjoyed a bottle of wine while watching The Cooler. Very appropriate viewing material. We checked in and got the most amazing room, but it was full of the cheesiest decorations. Christian kept saying, "Oh, but it's claasssyy, cuz it's GOLD!" We had $150 per diem to spend before midnight, so we had dinner in the silliest restaurant (pics below). My dinner was vanilla ice cream, chocolate cake, hot fudge and a bowl of fresh strawberries. MMM mmm good! We gambled through the night and awoke to gamble some more before the show. Ophira was a hoot, the show was over, so we drank at the Top of the Trop lounge where some cheesey singer rubbed her silicone breasts on Christian's head before Christian got into a fight with some cheesier comic making the comic storm out in a huff but not before that cheesier comic could tell everyone how much he gets paid per week ($18,000), how much gain he made selling his old Chelsea apartment ($350,000), how much his home in Vegas is worth ($2,000,000) and that he's "got lots of homes". What a douche! --Kambri Owner of nothing. Link - 11:26 AM -   Check This Out! So, the reviews are in and here's what they had to say: There is no gray area about it: both plays were creatively written and had impeccable comedic timing. And in hindsight, I have learned two things about love: the first is that, although love can seem torturous at times, it is vital to us like water, air, food, and porn. Actually, that's not accurate…we can survive a while without food. And the second is that, although our Memory Scrapbook may look messy and unorganized, time and growth will eventually make our future scrapbook into a fine piece of artwork, as are these two performances. -- Tara Koppel --Kambri Last chance, fools! Link - 1:12 AM -   Monday, September 20, 2004 Behold the Glitz and Glamma of Atlantic City: --Kambri Glitzy & glamma-rus Link - 1:33 PM -   Friday, September 17, 2004 Two Chicks - Hot Live Comedy Zowie, did last night's taping go well! You'll have a chance to see these two funny chicks live and in person tonight at their weekly stand up show Sweet Paprika. The details are below. I took my friend, Lawrence, who is originally from Nigeria. He had never been to a live taping before, so he was very interested in the process and excited to be there in true VIP style. We sailed past the hundreds of people waiting in a line that snaked for miles inside, up the stairs, out the door and around the building. Lawrence is a boisterous audience member, laughing heartily, clapping with his hands high in the air and barely able to contain shout outs. Between shows he even won a prize from Quentin, the warm up comic, although we cheated a bit. See Quentin also does audience warm up for Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Regular readers know that my boyfriend and client, Christian Finnegan, writes for that show. As a result, I have seen Quentin's act many times and know that part of his schtick is to try and have the audience guess his age. He is much older than he looks, so that's part of the fun. So I told Lawrence Quentin's age and voila! Lawrence is now the proud owner of a Kevin James DVD and some other comedy CD. TONIGHT: Join Sweet Paprika producers Allison Castillo & Ophira Eisenberg the night after they tape episodes for the new season of Premium Blend for Comedy Central! The Village Lantern 167 Bleecker St @ Sullivan 8:30pm - $5.00 Other featured comics include Leo Allen (Writer for Saturday Night Live, Premium Blend), Cynthia Levin (Comedy Central's Laugh Riots), John Mooney (Comedy Central's Premium Blend) and more! --Kambri Proud. Link - 11:07 AM -   Thursday, September 16, 2004 Recap Last night's shows were terrific! There was a nice crowd, I wrangled three press peeps -- two reviewers and the comedy editor for a major mag -- and no rats showed up! Check out this week's US Weekly Fashion Police. Yep, that's Ballyhoo Promotions client Ophira Eisenberg as a contributing "Top Cop". Tonight is the taping of a new episode of Premium Blend aired on Comedy Central featuring the aforementioned Ophira and another Ballyhoo Promotions client, Allison Castillo. Wish them well, but they're gonna rock no matter what! I won't be able to hang out too long at their after party because I have to go home and pack for my weekend excursion to Atlantic City. I've heard it's a sad, miserable dump of a place, but I don't care. I'm psyched for the free limo to and from, a healthy per diem, a free hotel room at the Tropicana and gambling. What more could a girl want?! --Kambri Happy New Year, my Jewish friends. Link - 2:35 PM -   Wednesday, September 15, 2004 Fan Mail, of Sorts I just read an email from a woman in Austin, Texas commending all the folks that worked on getting the book Above Hallowed Ground published. As one of those folks, I was cc'd on her letter. I was surprised and touched by her words. She is going all out to recommend the book to her friends, family, colleagues, etc. to not only buy the book, but send the New York City Police Foundation, Inc. (the organization that receives all royalties earned), the difference in the cost she paid for the book and it's original full cover price. Some stranger, moved by the images she saw in a book, wrote the most beautiful thank you letter and is now promoting this book more than anyone. Wow. I guess I should do the same. Buy it online or at your local bookstore today. Or, if you ever have cause to buy anything with the NYPD or FDNY logos, don't buy counterfeits. Buying licensed goods supports the Foundation and sends a big "F You" to the manufacturer of knockoffs. --Kambri Okay, I'm done preaching now. How about Tracey Gold!? Link - 11:13 AM -   Tuesday, September 14, 2004 Zowie! How did this news item about Tracey Gold from Growing Pains slip under the radar? News of Nick Nolte & that old country douchebag's DWI arrests made headlines and I'm 60% sure no one was hurt in their cases. When in LA, Christian & I always wanted to hang out near our hotel. Granted we were on the Sunset Strip -- steps away from all the buzz, but still...we didn't want me to drive so that I could hang out with no worries. (Christian doesn't have his driver's license. Yeah, I know.) We heard more than once that people in LA just basically learn to drive drunk. Yikes! --Kambri Just another reason to say "I heart NY!" Link - 11:14 PM -   I've Heard of Blue Balls, But This is Ridiculous! Paquita has entered her obsession with her blue ball stage. This happens about once a year, so it must be a hormonal. (She's not "fixed".) She cries when she can't find it, cries when she finds it, cries when she bounces it, barks at it when it just sits there. Every night for the past week, she has jumped out of bed to go find it and bring it back. She then "buries" it before drifting off to sleep. If it falls off the bed during the night, she scrambles half asleep to find it and bring it back to bed. In the morning she immediately starts crying in an attempt to get me to play with her and her ball. She actually has little streams of tears running down her precious little face. Last night was the most pathetic. As you can see from the picture, it is covered in little bumps that must feel so good to her. Last night she scooped the ball into her crotch with her paws, trying to get it closer and closer as she humped and cried and humped and cried. Women! --Kambri I know how you feel, honey. You're preaching to the choir! Link - 10:18 AM -   Monday, September 13, 2004 Rosh Hasha-what? This Wednesday, you'll have another chance to see two great shows in one hour. Click here for details on Hindsight & The Gray Area. I have two reviewers scheduled to attend, so it's a big night for the performers and the rat that raced across the back last week has been rehearsing his entrance all week. To my Jewish friends who will be celebrating Rosh Hashanah, you'll have one last chance to see them on Wednesday, September 22nd. My friend Heidi was supposed to go with me before realizing it was the Jewish holiday. We promptly rescheduled to meet for dinner tonight. Is it weird that I'll be presenting her with last year's Christmas gift in September? I don't care! I love giving people presents! --Kambri She'd better like it, too! Link - 10:43 PM -   Sunday, September 12, 2004 Liberty is a Beautiful Thing The photo from yesterday and the one below were both taken during a sailboat cruise around the Hudson back in July. It was quite possibly one of the best things I've ever done in New York. The waters were peaceful, the sun was bright but not too hot, the boat was beautiful and historic (it is the only privately owned National Landmark), we were well fed and given lots of drink choices, and it was all free thanks to the generosity of my firm. It is odd how the Statue of Liberty can invoke such strong feelings in me. But being that close to her and the water with nothing between us was truly breathtaking. I would love to do it again with friends but I'm afraid it wouldn't be as perfect the second time around. I highly recommend it as an outing to anyone living in or visiting New York. Afterwards, enjoy the shopping and dining at the South Street Seaport and you've had yourself one fine day, my friend. Okay, enough of that, off to play my downloaded Galaga game. Woo! --Kambri Emotional. Link - 2:00 PM -   Saturday, September 11, 2004 God Bless Us, Everyone --Kambri Link - 1:02 PM -   Thursday, September 09, 2004 Plugging Away I took a new work friend to see Hindsight & The Gray Area last night. I'm not sure how much live performance he sees, but he thoroughly enjoyed both pieces. He, like me, couldn't refrain from audible reactions. Go see them, you! --Kambri Playing hookie. Link - 11:23 AM -   Wednesday, September 08, 2004 Gawker Stalked! Christian was Gawker stalked. Here is the entry: Sunday afternoon at Our Name is Mudd on Greenwich Ave. I spotted Christian Finnegan and his very very thin girlfriend. At least I wasn't the only loser painting pottery on a holiday weekend. I object to being called "very, very thin". I'm not overweight but this makes me sound anorexic. I'm a size 8 fergodsake. Is that really "very, very thin"? But what really irks me is the "loser" comment. It was a gloomy Sunday afternoon! We shopped at the Apple store, Hable Construction, painted pottery, watched "Garden State", had dinner at P.J. Clarke's, went home and screwed. That's a pretty great day if you ask me. I wonder what they did? --Kambri Loser. Link - 1:29 PM -   Monday, September 06, 2004 Don't Say I Never Invite You to Anything This week is jam packed with some top notch shows. On the 7th, Sob Stories goes "Back to School" after taking an August break. Todd Hanson of The Onion is the extra special guest. On the 8th, Hindsight & The Gray Area appear in HorseTrade's HA Series at Under St. Marks. On the 10th, Sweet Paprika -- the weekly stand up show produced by Allison Castillo & Ophira Eisenberg -- goes Premium as they and their guests all prepare to tape upcoming episodes of the Comedy Central's new season of Premium Blend. Click here for details on exact times, locations, etc. --Kambri I'll be at all of the above if you care to join me. Link - 9:13 PM -   Saturday, September 04, 2004 Weekend Update The Jets game was fun and very easy to get to and from. My friend's husband just happened be seated in our section (50 yrd line, 27 rows up) a few rows down from us. What are the odds?! Back in July I scored interviews for me and Christian. Mine was lame, so I never posted the MP3. Christian felt his was lame, too, but apparently it wasn't so bad. It made the final cut and will air "on Monday in 425 nationally syndicated markets." Once the show airs, I'll be provided a link which I'll post here and on Christian's Media page. --Kambri Hungover. Link - 11:33 PM -   Thursday, September 02, 2004 Nothing to say, really. The City is vacant and tomorrow is the last Friday of what people view as summer. I'll wear jeans to the office, leave early and go watch the Jets play Philly at the Meadowlands thanks to some free tickets I scored around 4:30 today -- a reward, perhaps, for sticking it out on a week that would be very easy to blow off. It will be my first pro football game in NYC, so I'm totally psyched. Nothing beats live sports, except maybe sneaking into the Price is Right studio. That ruled. --Kambri Have a safe weekend! Link - 11:03 PM -