If you like comedy, PR or the occasional inside scoop on the entertainment world, then drop by for a daily dose written by me, Kambri Crews, producer and publicist to comedians and more!   Monday, January 31, 2005 Last Dance, Last Chance Tonight marked the end of "Eating It" at Luna Lounge. The former moves to the Zipper (love that place!) and the latter gets demolished and turned into condos. But I can't really think about that. We did it. We took the plunge. We signed a lease for a new apartment. No more turning back now. We literally went from making the single most important jointly made decision together to the Lower East Side to an alternative comedy show in a dive bar and promptly got drunk. The bar even gave out champagne to mark the occasion. Well, technically it was for the end of "Eating It", but whatever... --Kambri Pictures coming soon! Link - 11:56 PM -   Sunday, January 30, 2005 Let there be ROOOOCCCCCKKKK! Last night Christian invited friends to join us in Astoria to see Unchained, a Van Halen cover band, playing at our favorite dive bar called Cassiday's (formerly Bottom's Up). I donned by best 80s glam rock shirt, red patent leather heels, lots of metal grommets and lip gloss only to find that they cancelled. Unfortunately the bassist was in the hospital for broken ribs. He was dropped while crowd surfing, no doubt, or perhaps "Diamond Dave" accidentally kicked him whilst doing his famous high kick, jump thing. So, join us next Saturday when they piece him back together and try again. I'll let you know when Blizzard of Oz, a kick ass Black Sabbath cover band with a freakishly great "Ozzy" at the helm, makes an appearance. Here's a fun video of women getting bikini waxes. --Kambri Ouchie. Link - 6:47 PM -   Thursday, January 27, 2005 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1ST NYC ComediCares Benefit Don't miss this comedy concert for the victims of the tsunami featuring the world's most kick ass raffle. Prizes include an iPod donated by TekServe, an autographed copy of the best selling Daily Show book America signed by Jon Stewart, free tickets to Lone Star Love and more fun stuff like that.... PS 122 150 First Ave. at E. 9th St. 8:00pm - $25.00 RESERVATIONS: 212-477-5288 100% of proceeds to go to AmeriCares to benefit the victims of the tsunami tragedy in southeast Asia. Liam McEneaney hosts: * Jim Gaffigan (Comedy Central Presents, Late Show w/ David Letterman, That '70s Show) * Christian Finnegan (Best Week Ever, Chappelle's Show) * Demetri Martin (Comedy Central Presents; writer, Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien) * Chris Regan (3x Emmy-winning writer for The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart) * Victor Varnado (from the movies End of Days & Pluto Nash) --Kambri ... and MORE! Link - 10:45 PM -   Wednesday, January 26, 2005 The Clip Joint last night was another rousing success. Judy Gold was typically funny in an abrasive way, Ed Helms performed a funny bit in which he read messages from The Daily Show's fan message boards debating on whether or not Ed is gay. I skipped out on Rob Riggle and surprise guests Rob Huebel & Paul Scheer so that Katie (a lovely Jest intern) and I could start passing out magazines and subscription offers. Don't miss the next one on February 16th at The Improv. Colin Quinn will be headlining and 100% of the income will, once again, go to charity. I had a nice pre-show dinner at Bread Tribeca, a place where I am anxious to re-visit without an agenda. It seems like every meal I have lately, is business related. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but it does encroach on the overall enjoyment of a meal. In the midst of all this new business I've drummed up, I am managing to purge my closet, visit the dentist (one cavity and two old fillings to be replaced), and view new apartments. Once I find a new dwelling, the real work will begin. --Kambri And I will delegate to my intern! Link - 4:08 PM -   As Promised... Condi Rice and George W. Bush on the cover of Jest Look who's in the Masthead! And an excerpt from the oft mentioned Thoughtless Male Survival Guide made the issue as seen here. Or get the whole darn thing here and here. Are you a Frog or a Prince? Take the quiz, here. --Kambri Link - 1:12 AM -   Tuesday, January 25, 2005 Plugs I just received my copy of the new issue of Jest and, my God, is it hysterical. I'll post a picture of the cover once I get my hands on it...oh my, I love it. Get your free copy tonight at the Knitting Factory (see yesterday's post for details). I'll also post a copy of an excerpt taken from Christian Finnegan's Thoughtless Male Survival Guide that ran in the same issue. Speaking of his guidebook, Christian was on WKQZ (Michigan) this morning, hawking it even thought it still hasn't made it online at 1800flowers.com. Christian will be on The Big Idea with Donnie Deutsch on CNBC at 10:00 PM tonight chatting about today's Oscar nominations. Check back for a schedule / information update. I was disappointed that Paul Giamatti was shut out for the second year in a row -- last year for American Splendor and Sideways this time around. But, overall, I think there is a really nice mix of talent. I adore Hilary Swank, but I wonder if the Academy will honor her over Annette Bening twice. Man, was Hilary excellent, though. Final Destination The movie tagline was: No Accidents. No Coincidences. No Escapes. You Can't Cheat Death. This poor guy proves the movie right: San Mateo man dies in avalanche Snowboarder's change of plans had saved him from tsunami. Footwear For Dogs? Gothamist writes about doggie paw-wear to protect pooches from electrical zaps and other city dangers. For large dogs, they make sense. They must go outside, the salt is painful and damaging to their paws, not to mention the cold, heat, glass and metal everywhere. But as a wee wee pad user, Paquita rarely ventures out in Winter due to her tiny toes freezing to the ground after about 25 feet. I wonder if these would be a good investment for her or just a waste of money. Anyone use these on small dogs? --Kambri Link - 10:13 AM -   Monday, January 24, 2005 Reminder: Fundraiser Tomorrow Night The Clip Joint! New School Comedy, Old School Style. Judy Gold headlines this new monthly comedy/variety show at the Knitting Factory. Comics Matt O'Brien and Rory Albanese host Judy, The Daily Show's Ed Helms, SNL's Rob Riggle and other acts in a show that takes you back to the days when people got dressed up to go see comedy.* Visit www.theclipjoint.ws for more information including photos from the last SRO event. All profits go to Unicef. *Suits optional. The Knitting Factory Main Performance Space 74 Leonard Street New York City , NY 10013 8:30 - $15 (includes a free issue of Jest Magazine!) 212-219-3132 --Kambri Link - 10:50 PM -   Sunday, January 23, 2005 Every two minutes a woman is raped in the Unites States. Why? I watched the HBO documentary Rape in a Small Town today. Florence Holway is an amazing woman who was violently raped at the age of 75. The county prosecutor struck a plea bargain with the rapist without her consultation or consent. Enraged, she fought the system and gave victims a voice in the prosecution of their assailants. In the end, however, she was failed. After twelve years her rapist will be free. What about her? What does she miss most since the rape occurred? "My teeth and my peace of mind." Rapists roaming free will never get her the latter. On January 2nd, the NY Post ran this story about 622 sex offenders left off of the NYS Sex Offender Registry due to a loophole. The original story featured mug shots and profiles of some of those 622. While it is bad that they didn't register, after looking at their profiles I determined what is worse is that they are out free in the first place. Many of them served less than three years! For a single rape, that is appalling. Add to that fact that these men were convicted of multiple rapes, many victims were children, and the rapists are classified as "Level 3 Sex Offenders" (highly likely to be a repeat offender) and that's a crime right there. A quick search of the registry revealed a man living a few streets down from me who served less than three years for the repeated rape of two boys aged five and eight. Read further rape statistics here. --Kambri Disgusted. Link - 6:02 PM -   Saturday, January 22, 2005 Christian had his photo in AM New York yesterday. I've gotten so many PR hits, I don't even know any more. I need to get a better PR news alert service. Anyone know of any free/cheap ones? So, did I tell you I was officially titled the Director of Marketing & Publicty (or something like that...I haven't seen the masthead yet) for Jest Magazine? Well, I am. If you're interested in having Jest sponsor an event or supply swag or you would like to submit original work for publication and have your event listed in the mag, let me know. I looooove me a blizzard! We are actually going to try and make it into the City for a nice, romantic anniversary dinner. If we actually make it there, it will be awesome. A cozy corner table, candlelight, wine, steak. I feel warm just thinking about it. --Kambri Link - 1:14 PM -   Friday, January 21, 2005 Last night at Marion's was a delightful treat all thanks to Rachel a/k/a Rachelpink. She and I imbibed a bit and munched a little and talked a lot. She's such an easy person to communicate with and that's a trait cannot be over-valued or emphasized. Hours fly by like minutes. We briefly chatted about an idea I have for a book - she being in the book biz, and all - which she didn't totally hate. So, my next task is to put together a formal book proposal and officially submit it to a publisher. Could this mean that one of my top five goals for 2005 could actually get checked off before the end of the first quarter? Not one to count my chickens before they hatch, I'll believe it when I see it. But I'm knocking on a huge chunk o' wood. Meanwhile, we'll be working on a project together which you'll be sick of hearing about soon. In other news, the collegehumor.com guys were profiled in The New Yorker. When I say "profiled", I mean a glowing six page feature about their rise to the top, their website, their t-shirt business and, oh, did I mention they're only 23? Read it. --Kambri Ten years their senior and I aspire to reach their level. Link - 3:22 PM -   Thursday, January 20, 2005 An argument for Tort reform. Keep your eyes peeled for a three bedroom apartment in Astoria near the N/W 36th Avenue, Broadway or 30th Avenue stops or the R Steinway Street stop. I need one. --Kambri So I can have an office. Link - 11:53 PM -   Wednesday, January 19, 2005 The new Ballyhoo Promotions Newsletter is up. Check it. The new issue of Jest is out tomorrow. Buy it. Are you hosting an event or charity and need gift bag items? Email it. --Kambri Link - 11:43 PM -   Tuesday, January 18, 2005 Holy mother. Suicidal man sets new standard for self-inflicted brutality. --Kambri Link - 10:49 PM -   Monday, January 17, 2005 Home is Where my Dog is Ah, my fuzzy L.L. Bean slippers toasting my tootsies and my little zonked Paquita warming my lap means I'm home. A re-cap of our last day in DC: A bone chilling cold wind greeted us on our way to the Metro which was thankfully only a short step away from our suspiciosly perfume-y lodging (Just what odors are they masking?) at the Lincoln Suites (Lincoln never resided there, I assure you). The National Archives were not as I had remembered -- there has been extensive upgrading and state-of-the-art interactive displays added -- but they were informative and interesting despite the confusing, ill-conceived floorplan. Unfortunately, the Inauguration is only days away which means large groups of teens serving as representatives from their states. Teens watch Best Week Ever. They have no discretion or qualms about sacrificing the quality of a historical document to take flash photography of one Mr. F. Christian Finnegan. Choice representatives we've gotten ourselves. The State of our Union can be summed up in that awkard three minute exchange. These kids, I assume to be the cream of their crop, were more interested in a guy who makes fun of Lindsay Lohan's breast implants than the document that ensured blacks their freedom. Hands down. The interactive displays were extremely cool and informative, but there is something to be said about seeing the actual letterhead on which Nixon typed his resignation and the indentation of his inked signature versus a computer image of it. There really is no comparison. That said, the display I most enjoyed was an audio/video display for eight different recipients of the Congressional Medal of Honor. By clicking a button next to their respective photograph, you can hear and see the letters of recommendation and the citation for which they received the most distinguished honor bestowed to any American. I defy you to not get a lump in your throat thinking of the extreme sacrifices these ordinary men and woman (singular) made for their comrades. Zowie, they are more unselfish than ever I could be. Which reminds me...I forgot to mention a highlight from yesterday's Museum of American History visit. It, too, had a section dedicated to the history of the Medal of Honor and a super fancy interactive device that allows users to search recipients by war, time served, military division or name. I, of course, entered my uncle's name "John R. Crews" and marveled at how brave he was and how honored his family is to know that somewhere coursing through our blood lies the ability, however slight, to put others before ourselves. We read through his citation and left it there for the next user to read. I hope they did. Here is the citation for which Congress and President Truman honored him: Place and Date: Near Lobenbacherhof, Germany, 8 April 1945. Citation: He displayed conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty on 8 April 1945 near Lobenbacherhof, Germany. As his company was advancing toward the village under heavy fire, an enemy machine gun and automatic rifle with rifle support opened fire upon it from a hill on the right flank. Seeing that his platoon leader had been wounded by their fire, Sergeant Crews, acting on his own initiative, rushed the strongpoint with two men of his platoon. Despite the fact that one of these men was killed and the other badly wounded, he continued his advance up the hill in the face of terrific enemy fire. Storming the well-dug-in position single-handedly, he killed two of the crew of the machine gun at point blank range with his M-l rifle and wrested the gun from the hands of the German whom he had already wounded. He then charged the strongly emplaced automatic rifle. Although badly wounded in the thigh by crossfire from the remaining enemy, he kept on and silenced the entire position with his accurate and deadly rifle fire. His actions so unnerved the remaining enemy soldiers that seven of them surrendered and the others fled. His heroism caused the enemy to concentrate on him and permitted the company to move forward into the village. [Read more about the U.S. 63rd Infantry Division.] --Kambri Link - 10:12 PM -   Sunday, January 16, 2005 DC, a Review of Two Days I am happy to report that Christian is doing really well headlining at the DC Improv. The shows have been sold out and he has been in top notch performance mode. I am excelling in my role of "enthusiastic and supportive girlfriend" by eating and drinking for free, hanging out in the green room, flirting with old professors and generally not getting in the way or on his nerves. Part of why I'm here this weekend -- aside from the reasonable cost and ease of traveling here by train, that it's a long weekend, I haven't been in DC since '96 and I had nothing better to do -- is because yesterday marked our two year anniversary. We celebrated with an okay lunch at Smith & Wollensky. On the whole, S&W is supremely overrated. Or at least this one was. Christian's filet something provier was tasty, but the service was inattentive, my lemon chicken was dry as a bone and bland to boot, and our Bloody Marys were the worst tasting spicy alcoholic crap. On the upside, their salads -- both the Caesar and the mixed greens -- were amazing as were the whipped potatos. Dessert was overly generous and scrumptious and the price was extremely affordable due to the $20.05 Restaurant Week fare we enjoyed. Would I go back? If it were Restaurant Week, yes. I would simply stick to their specialty: red meat, make sure my server wasn't sick or they weren't going through a shift change, and stick to wine. Having an anniversary that falls during a season of new beginnings affords us the opportunity to look back at the year together, acknowledge our amazing milestones and fun times as well as set goals for the future 12 months. We did this last year, and I'm pretty certain that one of Christian's goals was to have his own 1/2 hour special (CHECK!) and one of mine was to start my own production and PR company (CHECK!). I can't wait to see if this year's goals are checked off with similar success. Stay tuned for January 15, 2006, for an update. Today we woke up early -- well, early for two people sleeping in a dark, cool hotel room after hanging out till the wee hours -- and took the Metro to The Smithsonian's American History Museum for four hours of absorbing our Nation's history. We thoroughly enjoyed the Star Spangled Banner exhibit. Since 1998, it has been undergoing an extensive and exhaustive reconstruction and cleansing. What a process you must see to believe. There is also a relatively new exhibit, open since November 11th, about the U.S. and all of its wars called "The Price of Freedom." While the Civil War and WWII exhibits were extensive, I was disappointed at the lack of anything about 9/11 other than a giant steel beam and a phone from one of the planes. That was it? Seriously? I suppose more perspective must be gained to have an unbiased and less emotional influence on the display. History, after all, is still being made with regard to that day. It is strange to think, however, that 50 years from now that 9/11 is reduced to just that...a big beam and a mashed up sky phone. --Kambri Tomorrow on the Daily Dose: a trip to the National Archives! Link - 6:28 PM -   Thursday, January 13, 2005 Yes, it is true, I haven't written much and what I do write is about my company, company related events, company clients, and generally non-funny/interesting/insightful stuff. That's because these days I pretty much think, sleep, breathe, eat & drink Ballyhoo Promotions and my clients -- in Christian's case he gets the literal benefit of my insane devotion. The good news is, it has paid off. I have gone from an Oprahesque Light Bulb Moment to chats over dinners and drinks with friends and confidantes through Fall and Winter 2003, to purchasing domain name in January 2004, designing the site and getting my first paying client in February 2004, to a whole slew of projects and clients and press too numerous for the agonized reader to endure even in a re-cap. Since that light bulb moment, I have gradually segued this site into a less humorous, more professional (?) insight into my bubble just in case a random Google search for me or my clients finds them to this page, which happens an insane amount. During any given day, I receive about 20 hits for my name spelled correctly and a gazillion for Christian, Sob Stories, Ophira & Allison, Sweet Paprika, Jest and the list goes on. So naturally I might be a bit mortified if said Googler found themselves here during the day I posted this, or this, or this. Hardly worth the risk. I'm not getting paid to be crass or insightful or provide a chuckle to one or two readers. But I am getting paid to work my arse to the bone getting press and producing events for those who do get paid to be & do all those things. Blah, blah, blah, I'm sorry I'm not remotely funny or interesting anymore! I miss it, too, but I don't know that it will ever change given how amazing my business is and how damned busy I am. Since my new old habit will die hard, here's a link to a really awesome article in today's Time Out NY. Oh, wait, here's something: I just got over a bout of food poisoning! I lost 7 pounds in less than two days. That is unfathomable for someone my size. I'm sure it was all water, though, as my clothes fit pretty much the same. I keep waiting for the number on the scale to go back up since I started eating again. I'm all better now, though, and will be heading to DC to join Christian for a sickness free bathroom, some comedy at the DCImprov and some tourism of our nation's capitol. --Kambri Actually that third post linked above is kinda funny. I might reconsider. Link - 6:48 PM -   Wednesday, January 12, 2005 Sorry No time for personal updates, just more Ballyhoo successes. Check out these interview questions / answers in Scene Missing Magazine. --Kambri Back in the saddle, soon. Link - 11:39 PM -   Monday, January 10, 2005 Plugging Away...Again! Tuesday, January 25th The Clip Joint! New School Comedy, Old School Style. Judy Gold headlines this new monthly comedy/variety show at the Knitting Factory. Comics Matt O'Brien and Rory Albanese host Judy, The Daily Show's Ed Helms, SNL's Rob Riggle and other acts in a show that takes you back to the days when people got dressed up to go see comedy.* All profits go to a tsunami relief fund to be named. Check back soon for more information. *Suits optional. The Knitting Factory Main Performance Space 74 Leonard Street New York City , NY 10013 8:30 - $15 (includes a free issue of Jest Magazine!) 212-219-3132 --Kambri Link - 9:58 PM -   Thursday, January 06, 2005 1-800-Flowers & the Thoughtless Male Survival Guide Some time ago, 1-800-Flowers & Cataldi PR, contacted Ballyhoo Promotions with regard to Christian Finnegan. I sent them his press kit which contains his contributions to Jest. They loved his work and felt like he would be the perfect match to write the Thoughtless Male Survival Guide. They were right. His guidebook is heeeeelarious and will be availble online soon. A campaign is in the works for Christian to make live appearances across New York (and LA?) and conduct various radio interviews in hopes of helping thoughtless men across America make nice and play well with the women in their lives. Meanwhile, look for a blurb by him (alongside his sexy new headshot) on page 56 of the February 2005 issue of FHM. Update: See the scan of the FHM blurb. --Kambri Link - 2:35 PM -   Wednesday, January 05, 2005 Free Tickets to a Broadway Show Lone Star Love - First come, first serve. Email me if you're interested. Two tickets per person are available for the following performances: Tues, Jan 11th at 8pm Wed, Jan 12th at 8pm Thurs, Jan 13th at 8pm Fri, Jan 14th at 8pm Sat, Jan 15th at 2pm or 7pm Sun, Jan 16th at 3pm The John Houseman Theater 450 West 42nd Street (btwn 9th & 10th Aves.) SEATS ARE LIMITED- FIRST COME FIRST SERVE! -- Kambri Or, come to the DC Improv and see Christian Finnegan headline. Link - 1:24 AM -   Tuesday, January 04, 2005 Worst Movie Ever Do not waste a second of your life on Darkness. I, unfortunately, neglected to check the trusty metacritic to learn this for myself (it scored a dismal 11 out of 100) and wasted two hours of my life wondering if a *free* movie is really *free* when it is that dreadful. It was so bad, the 9 year old kid behind us complained to his adult companion, "Next time, I pick the movie!" News Update Here's a follow up article on last week's report of laser beams being used against commercial airliners. Ballyhoo Stuff Christian Finnegan's New Year's Resolutions were published on collegehumor.com. His interview with Modest Proposal should be published soon as well. I've got two other interviews and a photo shoot in the works. Come February, i his face will be plastered all over this great nation of ours. --Kambri In fact, the time you spent reading this entry and thinking of that movie is more time than it deserves. Drek! Link - 11:13 AM -   Monday, January 03, 2005 TUESDAY, JANUARY 4TH - PSNBC Presents Sob Stories When the booze beckons or the Nicorette wears off, you're in for another year of low-self esteem. Join us for stories from comics who set themselves up to fail over and over again. Christian Finnegan ("Chappelle's Show", "Best Week Ever!") hosts guests Matt Higgins ("Centralia", "Second City"), Liam McEneaney ("Premium Blend"), Marta Ravin ("Premium Blend"), John Hodgman ("Little Gray Books" reading series) and more! The Marquee 356 Bowery (btwn Great Jones & E. 4th St) 8:00 PM $5.00 - NO drink minimum! This month's theme: Reinvention --Kambri Link - 5:53 PM -   Sunday, January 02, 2005 Two Questions Who decided on the phrase "a watched pot never boils"? Yes it does. If pig meat is pork and cow meat is beef, what would human meat be? --Kambri Any answers? Link - 8:14 PM -