If you like comedy, PR or the occasional inside scoop on the entertainment world, then drop by for a daily dose written by me, Kambri Crews, producer and publicist to comedians and more!   Saturday, April 30, 2005 Moonlighting? Is Trish Ahrensfield of the Albuquerque Police Department (seen here escorting the "Runaway Bride") moonlighting as Clementine Johnson on Reno 911? You be the judge: --Kambri Link - 2:08 PM -   Thursday, April 28, 2005 A Chronicle of Last Night's Events and Then Some Ranting 6:27 PM -- I left my office at just in time to get caught in a thunderous, torrential rain. Most (smart) people were standing under shelters or in buildings. Not me. I was walking to the subway on to an open bar party at The Cellar hosted by the Onion. Neither rain nor snow not heat or gloom of night stays this consumer from the swift completion of swilling my appointed free Bass. 6:32 PM -- Once safely tucked away in the 49th Street station, I sat down on a bench and wrung my pants. Twisted them till lots of water poured out. So much so that a man actually stopped, pointed and laughed incredulously. 8:56 PM - The keg was tapped. I headed to the Boston Comedy Club for a fundraiser being held on behalf of Kevin Knox. Here's what I said about it on Christian's calendar: Boston comic Kevin Knox has recently been fighting lymph node cancer and is seeking treatment not covered by his insurance. Come out and help Kevin pay his medicals bills with laughter...it is the best medicine, after all. [Sorry.] 9:11 PM - I arrived at the club. Four people were there. Two from Germany, two from France. They didn't know Kevin. They did know English. For some reason, the show was not canceled. The host began his set talking to the four people. An annoyed Dustin Chafin, comic & manager of the club, breezed through and said loudly: You're really helping out your friend! Ouch. I napped on a bench till Christian finished his set. 9:35 PM - My pants were officially dried. 9:46 PM - Extra large fries purchased at McDonald's. 9:52 PM - Christian and I cabbed it to 40/40 Club for a private birthday party in the Jay-Z Lounge (read the linked review). Don't go there. EVER. Unless, of course, you like the possiblity of getting raped in the co-ed bathroom or having blaring hip hop play as you snort coke off a table before sipping a $17 drink. I wish I were joking. 10:30 PM - Finally received the first drink of the evening. Christian had a Jack & Coke (which was not Jack & Coke, but he drank it anyway) and I had Pinot Grigio. Tally: $31. 11:37 PM - We finish our drinks and walk out annoyed that we wasted one hour and thirty-seven minutes of our lives in that ridiculous place. On our way out, the door swings open to a different private room just in time for us to see a woman snorting a line of coke. 11:55 PM - Our cab ride home is complete. Tally: $15. Not enough for a drink at 40/40. What's in a Name? Remember the One 2 One Living magazine article I mentioned in the Ballyhoo Promotions Newsletter? Well some of you may have noticed that they refer to Christian as "Chris" in the graphics. No where, ever, do I or he refer to Christian as "Chris." Who does that? Especially in the entertainment biz. After all, there is a Chris Finnegan on IMDB. They actually had his name as "Chris" all throughout originally until I sent them an email correcting their mistake. The editor wrote me back: Dear Cambris,... Are you fucking kidding me? Pet Peeve When someone you report to (boss, client, person of some authority, whatever) asks you a question. Then later they ask someone else the same question. Are they checking your honesty? Doubting your knowledge? Mistrusting your judgment? Just a big jackhole moron? --Kambri Cranky. Link - 10:35 AM -   Wednesday, April 27, 2005 Gospel of Jack 4:27 Walked into Jack's office this morning not realizing he was on the phone. He gave me the "shush" sign and continued with his converstaion. "Sex parties?" Pause. "Do I have to bring my wife?" Pause. "Really?" Speaking of sex, does anyone have any connections to a condom company? We have ourselves a funny little idea over at Jest and I am looking for contacts. --Kambri Trojan? Durex? Lifestyle? Anyone? Link - 1:38 PM -   Tuesday, April 26, 2005 Jest Makes Crain's This blurb appeared in Monday's Crain's New York. Listen to the radio spots mentioned in the article and airing on Air America by clicking on the links below: Tom DeLay reads Jest while in bed with his boyfriend. Courtney Love likes drugs and laughing at Jest. The Olsen Twins are men? --Kambri Link - 12:01 AM -   Monday, April 25, 2005 In the News -- Some guy knows how to hold a grudge! For 37 years he has hated Jane Fonda and used her latest book signing to prove it. Read the story. -- If her claim ends up being true, unlike the Wendy's finger in the chili complaintant, then what supposedly happened is possibly the most horrifying, cringeworthy incident ever. --Kambri Link - 4:30 PM -   Sunday, April 24, 2005 Ballyhoo Promotions Newsletter Read the latest Ballyhoo. --Kambri Link - 5:58 PM -   Friday, April 22, 2005 Jest is Officially a National Publication... ...so we had a big party sponsored by Tequila Corazon, Bacardi & Grey Goose at The Delancey. The door ran smoothly considering we had many attempted party crashers and lots of guests of Editor in Chief Frank Santopadre whose names he didn't include on my list. The gift bags were gone before you knew it, the ice sculpture was a big hit as were the yummy Corazon drinks. At one point I loaned my cell phone to a woman. About 20 minutes later I realized I may not ever see it again. I went to the front hallway where she was making her call and was happy to see her there chatting away. She was having a very animated conversation, but I didn't let that stop me from saying, "Uh, could I get my phone back?" She gave me the "hand" and kept on even louder. So I stood patiently and watched her finish her conversation amused at the size of her balls. I got my phone back and enjoyed my first drink of the evening since my work was done. (Ballyhoo Promotions Rule #1: don't drink at your own events if you're in charge of anything important.) Jest publisher David Fenton and me. Ice sculpture [View other photos from the evening.] --Kambri Link - 12:08 PM -   Monday, April 18, 2005 I'm Not Making This Up Dating Diary - The Him Book is available on www.uncommongoods.com for $26.00. Here's their description: A woman's answer to the "little black book," the "Him" journal lets you keep track of all the men you've dated in one enjoyable resource. With space for contact information, photographs and comments on each man, it's always handy for personal record keeping, reminiscences and late night booty calls. Was he "charming," "sensitive," or did he prompt the question "What was I thinking?" And with over 250 spaces for entries, you'll have something to shoot for. A great present for the ambitious dater. Enjoyable resource? Late night booty calls? Ambitious dater? 250 spaces for entries? Thanks, but I don't need a journal to remember why I did "it" and why I would or would not do "it" again with someone. I'll rely on my trusty "spank bank"* for lingering details and save my mom the trouble of finding this crap in the event of my untimely death. --Kambri *The term "spank bank" comes from a Christian Finnegan joke. Link - 12:27 PM -   We All Scream for Ice Cream Here are some taste free cones, we just need some creamy filling. --Kambri Link - 11:22 AM -   Sunday, April 17, 2005 Cheap Comedy Returns to the LES This show promises to be a good one. Laugh Lounge 151 Essex St 8:00 $5 + 2 Drinks For Reservations call 212-614-2500 HOSTED BY: Craig Baldo (Premium Blend, Late Friday) and featuring your very own Christian Finnegan. Also with: * Claudia Cogan (UCB, the PIT) * Anthony DeVito (VH1's "All Access: Celebrity Showdown 2") * Todd Levin (How to Kick People) * Liam McEneaney (Premium Blend, Best Week Ever) And more! --Kambri Link - 10:24 AM -   Friday, April 15, 2005 Repondez, s'il vous plait Or as most say it, "RSVP," means "please reply" to an invitation. It never ceases to amaze me, no matter how many events I plan - big or small - at how few people respect the RSVP request. It's maddening and disappointing all at once. Read more on RSVPing. --Kambri Link - 11:24 AM -   Thursday, April 14, 2005 Ballyhoo Promotions' newest client is Edith Layton, a romance novelist and all-around amazing personality with an incredibly long list of published works. Fabio even posed for one of her novels back in the day. The cover pictured herein is of her latest book available in bookstores and online. This new search engine is AWESOME. --Kambri Link - 1:26 PM -   Wednesday, April 13, 2005 Apology Accepted The offending commentor called this morning to apologize. She ran our conversation by a few people (wha?) and they agreed -- her statements are disrespectful to me, my work and accomplishments. I made sure to remind her that everyone, not just [Redacted], has obstacles on their path to success. Identify yours and get over them the best you can. This brings to mind something that irks me about women in business. I've read numerous times that women tend to say they got lucky in their careers while men will say they earned their success. Women don't want to seem boastful. Thomas Jefferson once wrote: "I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." Well put. I say there is no such thing as luck when it comes to business. If you make good decisions and develop a good reputation, you put yourself in a position to get the lucky bounce and are equipped to accept and capitalize on opportunities that come your way. --Kambri Not lucky...good. Link - 10:00 AM -   Tuesday, April 12, 2005 The Most Offensive Conversation Ever Recounted to Me: "[Redacted] has to work so hard for everything. Kambri is just so lucky. Things just fall into her lap." I had a great lunch at Time Out New York today as part of the Independent Magazine Advisory Group (IMAG). Meetings like that always make my brain go into overdrive at all the possibilities that might never be realized simply because I am just me. I definitely need a staff. Once this Jest launch party is under my belt, it's time to start the interview process. Meanwhile, any college students interested in being my intern, please drop me a line. --Kambri Insulted. Link - 4:33 PM -   Tuesday, April 05, 2005 Now Available on Newstands --Kambri Eeewwwww! Link - 11:41 PM -   Monday, April 04, 2005 Please Welcome, Coming to the Stage... I made my stage debut at Stand Up NY last night. No, I wasn't doing stand up. I participated in a Newlywed Game type of Q&A with Geno Bisconte for his It's Geno show. It takes a certain personality and the right energy sustained over the course of an evening to make a good host and Geno was perfect. The audience was light -- Sunday night in New York the same night as the first Red Sox v. Yankees match up since the World Series apparently keeps the kids at home -- but everyone had a great time. My favorite exchange was when Geno asked me what my favorite breakfast cereal was. "Vodka," I answered, which garnered a laugh. Christian grabbed my arm and menacingly warned me, "I'm the comic. You don't get to be funny. I'm the funny one here, got it?" Domestic abuse = hilarity. My new favorite restaurant is the Cub Room. We had eaten there once before, but had gotten there so late that they were out of their Cub Steak. I made sure to make an early reservation for Christian's birthday dinner so as not to miss out on some Grade A meat. Served with parmesan-garlic potato gratin, fresh spinach with lemon zest, the Cub Steak is a buttery, delightful portion of filet mignon which was prepared to a perfect medium rare. Our server was pleasant and attentive and the wine list was extensive and varied. I love the decor, however, due to the crazy wind and rain the space was fairly empty for our relatively early dinner, which made it feel less intimate. The apple tart was a dissappointment -- too hard and slightly burnt. The accompanying hazelnut ice cream was nice, but nothing spectacular. Not a glowing review, I suppose, but that meat, oh my, that heavenly flesh. --Kambri Carnivore. Link - 10:04 AM -   Friday, April 01, 2005 WOW! You MUST go to Tribeca Cinemas and watch these films. Everyone there -- and I mean everyone -- was thoroughly impressed by the work of all these young directors. One film in particular, The Plunge, was a favorite amongst me and my guests. We were excited to meet and talk with the director, Todd Schulman, to find out what he is doing now because, surely, he is going places. Turns out, he now lives in LA and is working on Borat, a movie based on a character in Da Ali G Show with Sacha Baron Cohen. The whole night was a success and the folks at Chamberlain Bros. were such a treat. I hope to pitch a book idea to them by summer -- an idea that has about a 98% chance of getting picked up by some publisher -- just so I can see them again. Tribeca Cinemas is an incredible party space of any type, but, obviously, perfect for a screening. It's real downfall is the bathroom. Only one room. For everyone. It actually never seemed to be a problem, but come on...one room? For everyone? I was given the first two seasons of 24 on DVD and completed them BOTH in the span of about a week and a half. That's alot of tense conspiratorial television for one person. It has made such an impact on me, I called the guest of honor Roger Corman "Roger Stanton" by mistake. Ugh. Luckily he is one of the most gracious, kindest men I've met. He also gave a truly well planned and thoughtful introduction to each and every film and its director. Considering his unbelievably long career, he could have phoned it in and no one would have minded. Knowing this, having him go over and above the call of duty was a special treat. View pictures of the evening over on Rachel's site. --Kambri Season 3 of 24 is due to arrive Monday. See you in a week. Link - 5:01 PM -