If you like comedy, PR or the occasional inside scoop on the entertainment world,
then drop by for a daily dose written by me, Kambri Crews, producer and publicist to comedians and more!
Sunday, April 30, 2006
You be the judge.
Christian was reading the "Anti-Bride Guide" on the toilet.
--Kambri Link - 9:56 AM -
Saturday, April 29, 2006
The Latest Ballyhoo
Read the Latest Ballyhoo right here.
Link - 6:52 PM -
Parties and Planning
At the Drink at Work Presents show at Siberia last Monday, I had the pleasure of chatting with comedian Shayna Ferm. She, too, is getting married and was excited to chat all things bridal with me which made me realize just how not into the whole wedding planning thing I am. Shayna has the added task of an out of town wedding (Denver), so she really has no choice but to be on top of things. I plan major events all the time these days, so August 12th seems just like any other gig to me instead of the day I get hitched. Actually, its even better than any past gig, since we have the money to pay for stuff unlike many events I've organized where wheeling, dealing, bartering and begging are common strategies. I think back to the biggest and most impressive party I threw, the Jest Magazine launch party, and how tremendous of a task it was and an even bigger success. We had hilarious invitations, numerous celebrity and major VIP guests, models passing out free tequila, an ice sculpture, an open tequila and rum bar, DJ, gift bags and a gorgeous space plus rooftop garden all for FREE. All told we spent $300 for postage, the photographer and the invitation printing. My NYU professor for continuing education PR studies was blown away at my final tally.
I think about how impressed my friend Scott was at what a big blowout it was and that I did it entirely on my own and know that, in comparison, this whole wedding thing will be a breeze. Of course we're trying to keep costs down, but when you actually pay for things suddenly the work isn't hard at all. Shayna was so enthusiastic at sharing ideas she actually managed to get me a little excited. But then I remembered we're not having cake, a guest book, dj, dancing...this party is going to suck.
--Kambri What to do? What to do?
Link - 1:07 PM -
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Comedy & Politics Don't Mix
Gotham Comedy Club held a reception for celebrity comic photogrpaher Dan Dion at their new location next to the Chelsea Hotel. It was a lovely affair with lots of amazing photographs by Mr. Dion, free booze and food and more than a few notable producers, comedy club owners and accomplished comics seen all over the stage and screen. Too many to mention without mistakenly leaving out a name or two, so I'll pass on the name dropping and say there was only one bonafide douchebag there who shall remain anonymous...unless you really want to know in which case you can email me. Or maybe I'll have a contest. Moving on.
Remember when I wrote my Councilman, Eric Gioia, about his accomplishment at helping clean up the Astoria waterfront? No? What? You don't memorize my BLOG? Okay, fine. Read about it here.
Well anyway, Mr. Gioia, invited me to his birthday party tonight. It was very well attended with lots of extremely young people. So young in fact that I felt old and somehow obligated to donate more than my pocketbook could withstand as though my age should reflect my current income accordingly. But he, Mr. Gioia, was very nice and gracious but perhaps a bit too obviously skeptical at meeting us, admitted virtual strangers, with a "You're not a psycho, right?" kind of body language oozing out of him. He also seemed a bit weirded out when I mentioned meeting the mover and shaker of Astoria. Uh oh. What kind of history do those two have? Inquiring minds.
Who can blame Mr. Gioia really, think of the major jackhole nimrods you have to deal with regularly as a councilman, but he might want to get that tensed up, is my bodyguard nearby shit in check before he moves on to the next level of public service. After all, we were all wearing our finest biz casual, using our personal checkbooks to donate to his fund and almost everyone there was NOT a bonafide constituent like myself (Donald Trump, Jr. & Karenna Gore Schiff do NOT live in Astoria). In fact, a great deal of his "supporters" recognized my plus one, Christian, just as readily if not faster than Mr. Gioia, o' distinguished man o' honor. Who's having the Best Week Ever?
Mr. Gioia gave me his card and said not to hesitate to contact him with any concerns. He can be certain I won't. Er, will? What?
--Kambri "Yes, Mr. Gioia? Why does that skeevey mother fu*ker lurking outside the deli always say good morning to me but no one else? And what does 'mami' mean?"
Link - 11:38 PM -
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Now This is Dedication
I'm skipping the Penthouse Pet of the Month party to hunker down and get some work done.
On a personal note, I'm trying to design a promotional postcard for Love, Daddy in anticipation of the readings which may or may not be happening. I'm still awaiting confirmation on both but, regardless, I've got myself a nice piece I can read at any other number of readings in this glorious city. Meanwhile, I've posted the infamous Christmas Card of '03 along with a new entry over at Love, Daddy, which you can check out here.
Christian guest blogged for Punchline Magazine with a funny piece called "The Bad Set Decoder Ring". Read it here.
--Kambri Incredibly busy. Almost overwhelmed. All excellent stuff, though.
Link - 11:23 PM -
Monday, April 24, 2006
Love, Daddy in Living Color
I just did a read through of my draft for the upcoming readings from Love, Daddy (see calendar at left for details) and, if I can keep my nerves in check and my breath levels normal, it's going to ROCK! I've focused on my first visit to Dad in the clink last Christmas and will incorporate sign language throughout the reading. That's actually the tricky part since my sign language is rusty after living away from my family for so many years. But the more I practice, it all comes back to me.
Paquita will be at tonight's show at Siberia. So if you wanna see her and a great free comedy show, come on out. She'll even be wearing a smutty rocker tee to fit in with the whole dive bar vibe.
Wire Image covered the event last night. Here's my & Mandy's pic. Sorry, you have to be a member to view it and, well, it doesn't look like it's the best one of me anyway so I'll leave it teeny weeny. Don LaFontaine, Alan Kalter, Joan Baker and the rest of the amazing voice talent were so gracious and truly interested in sharing and helping.
Most of the audience had never been to the museum and were there because they wanted to be in the voice over business. I, of course, love the museum so was thrilled to see so many new people there. And even though I have zero interest in doing voice overs, I found the event informative and fun. Alan Kalter, despite being known as the voice for David Letterman, is a comedian in his own right. Throughout his hosting duties, he was quick on his feet and hilarious and afterwards, kind and effusive.
--Kambri Visit www.wireimage.com and search for Joan Baker in the caption for all the pics from the evening.
Link - 11:10 AM -
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Page Six 2026
New York Post reporters Mandy Stadtmiller and Raakhee Mirchandani along with Ballyhoo Promotions clients Anthony DeVito & Chrisitan Finnegan and a handful of other reporters and comics came up with Page Six 2026. It's an entire mock up of what Page Six might look like in the future. It's pretty clever and witty so check it out here.
Mandy also wrote a piece on page 79 about tonight's panel on voice over artistry being held at the AMMI. My Tex in the City partner & friend Scott is actually going to it tonight so we planed to meet up for a quick bite beforehand. In a funny little serendipity thing (a lot of which is happening these days), Mandy is going to the panel and invited me to use her extra ticket. So, turns out I'll be Mandy's plus one for free entry and get to hang out with Scott a little longer than expected.
--Kambri Rock!
Link - 12:56 PM -
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Long Lost Gospel of Jack
Back when I worked for Jack and before I had told him about my website and writing about his ridonkulous quotes, I did it under the radar hoping not to get caught. After all, he was my boss and the things that came out of his mouth were downright raunchy at times.
In anticipation of my upcoming readings and workshop with Joanna Parson, I've been doing lots of research and backtracking on blog entries, letters and what not trying to trace back when I came clean to you the internet about my dad getting thrown in the clink for 20 years. In doing so, I've come across some old Jack quotes. Here's one to chew on:
Him to Me Regarding a Woman He Doesn't Like: "Oh, I know! Why don't you come in topless and beat her to death with your breasts?!"
The Surreal Life's Nut Punch
I can't explain fully how surreal my afternoon was other than I met the biggest mover & shaker in Astoria. The same guy who created the AMMI that I love so much, proposed the Socrates Sculpture Park, founded the Astoria Historical Society, grants movie productions their permits and licenses, handles zoning and what not. You name it. Even such mundane tasks as buying me two pinot grigios at 5:00 this afternoon while I waited for Bobby the Framer to return from taking his mom to the doctor so I could pick up my newly framed poster I bought in Dublin while Colin Farrell and pretty much every other actor and crew member from Pride & Glory all basked in the sun, gawked at Paquita and smiled an said hello to my new found friend and me.
It was N-U-T-S but typing the story out just can't explain all the ridiculous quotes and realizations and insane holy smokes talk about putting yourself in the position for a lucky mother fu*king bounce situations I experienced all while sitting at a cafe wearing Chuck Taylors two blocks from my apartment in god damned Astoria Fu*king Queens.
When George, that's the guy who knows every person in Astoria and pretty much created the place, gets back from Greece (he's going there to settle his uncle's estate because his aunt has alzheimers) he's going to give me a tour of Kaufman Astoria Studios and introduce me to some people there. You know -- people who make major motion pictures for a living and who could, would, should hire me at any given date. He didn't even want anything in return.
After about 50 minutes of sussing him out and determining that the dude is who he in fact claims to be (the whole Megan Mullaly's husband incident is still fresh in my mind) and truly doesn't want anything from me, Bobby the Framer showed up (his elderly mom was still in the car). I said my thank yous, good byes and raced home to get ready for my interview with Evie about Andres and alternative comedy.
So I floated home with my beautiful framed poster and thought, "Thank God Bobby the Framer wasn't there when I showed up. I've just met a man who could change my life!"
And then my toilet broke.
Nothing like life's little nut punch to bring you back down to earth.
--Kambri I jerry rigged the thing, made it to my interview but had to bail on GTN so I could come home and handle plumbing matters. All is fine and, at the very least, I'll get a private tour of my neighborhood movie studio.
Link - 12:12 AM -
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Jon Voight is Tall!
They're filming Pride & Glory on the corner at Kaufman Astoria Studios so when Paquita & I walked over to the framing shop to get a poster framed, we passed all the actors' trailers and lots of movie people who ooohed and awed at how adorable my Pa-cutie is.
The framer had a bunch of photos lying (laying?) about his shop of himself with Jon Voight taken just a few days ago. We had a long conversation about Midnight Cowboy, how much it would cost for my poster to be framed, what the deal is between Voight & his daughter Angelina, does he take credit cards (no) and what's going on over at the AMMI. Satisfied with my pending transaction, I headed back home down a quiet, empty street where I passed none other than Jon Voight. The dude is tall. He was just on this last week's episode of Best Week Ever, so I was tempted to introduce myself and tell him he & my fiance, Christian Finnegan, just graced the screen together. But he was alone, so I didn't want to spook him. Paquita can be intimidating. Har.
Picking up my poster at 5:00. Will keep an eye out for Colin Farrell & Edward Norton. Their trailers are directly across from the framer.
Link - 2:44 PM -
Check out this journalist news type video exploring Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game!!! which is tonight, by the way, so come on down!
The opening of the new hookah bar Moomia left something to be desired but more on that later, I've got a ton of work to do.
Off to the grand opening of a new hookah bar / restaurant. Belly dancers, an Egyptian tomb, hookahs and free booze & food are to be expected. Hopefully, I'll get more than one taste unlike the last restaurant opening I attended.
Happy Easter, Maybelline
May all the unwanted bunnies be as lucky as my little girl from New Orleans. The Great Bunny Rescue!
--Kambri Link - 11:23 PM -
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Being asked to read from Love, Daddymade me want to work a little harder on telling the story. In keeping with my proactive, productive theme, tomorrow I will have the first of four workshops with the lovely Joanna Parson whom I first met after her funny show Reddy or Not. Christian has spoken highly of her and she seems eager to help develop and promote new, emerging works from all types of folks. I don't have high hopes to actually have a one woman show that I will want to stage -- it's been 7 years since I've performed for pete's sake -- but who knows. At the very least, I hope it means my readings won't stink to high heaven.
--Kambri Okay, honestly, it means it will make me shower and get out of the house!
Link - 8:45 PM -
Oh yeah...
I keep forgetting...I attended the New York premiere of Live Free or Die starring my friend Judah Friedlander and Zooey Deschanel. I was too pooped (read: hungover) to stay but I had fun despite being physically miserable. You should check it out along with Judah's stand up set.
--Kambri You'll love him, I promise.
Link - 12:01 AM -
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Co-een-kee-dink
Interestingly, Dooce posted a similar entry to mine today and, of course, she has more haters and lovers in her comments box (a whopping 555 and counting) than I ever will. I'm not sure why Christian's site never elicited so many comments on his more controversial posts. He gets several thousand hits a day and surely there's a meanie in there, right? I suppose it's because, unlike Dooce, his site is obviously in the name of comedy. Or maybe it's because they're worried they'll get outsmarted by the funny guy and made to look like an ass? I don't know.
All I DO know is this: success invites criticism. So kudos to anyone so successful that they have haters hating them enough to devote time to hating them instead of doing something else more productive and positive.
Never Trouble Trouble Till Trouble Troubles You
Fortune cookies are usually statements of current conditions rather than fortunes. Examples:
"You are well liked by others." "You have an active mind." "You are one hot piece of ass and any man should be so lucky as Christian."
But about eight or nine months ago I got one that has stuck with me: "Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you." Besides being fun to say, it is wise advice that I think all of us should consider before acting out of anger and frustration.
I've never been one to incite flame wars on forums or cause controversy on this site save for the time some stalker chick showed up at Christian's hotel in Atlanta and I posted her picture. I troubled trouble and trouble troubled me. Lesson learned. I don't have the time or energy to focus on negativity and, instead, try very much to "accentuate the positive; eliminate the negative; latch on to the affirmative and don't mess with Mr. In Between."
I believe that having eliminated all the negative in my life over the last year or two has truly put me in the position I am in now: completely self-employed, in a healthy, loving relationship and surrounded by friends who truly want me to succeed and are even willing to help me do so.
At the TV Land Awards I got this fortune: "All that matters is winning." --J.R. Ewing, Jr. That one stuck with me, too, because I think that living one's life that way requires troubling trouble. I'd rather take the high road or turn a blind eye to negativity thrown my way than "win" what would ultimately be an insignificant battle.
J.R. got shot for a reason. That said, winning rules.
--Kambri Winner.
Link - 1:01 PM -
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Tex in the City Reunion!
It's been ages since I've seen my dear friend and former Tex in the City partner Greg Gorman. He's got himself a cool job with Talk Radio News and it keeps him busy in DC. He's traveling to New York more often these days, though, and invited Tex in the City to a book party last night at the Puffin Room in SoHo. Bruce Ratner, the real estate developer and owner of the Nets, hosted the event for "Through the Eye of the Storm," a book by Cholene Espinoza about her experiences helping families in Mississippi rebuild after Hurricane Katrina. Cholene is a former U2 pilot and one of the few women admitted to the Air Force Academy and is the military correspondent for Talk Radio News. She's donating all the revenue from her book to build a community education in Pass Christian Delisle. Rock star.
I ran into some old acquaintances and met a few new ones. I also spotted outed New Jersey Governor McGreevey and his partner there milling about. All in all, it was a lovely event and my heart grew warm and fuzzy when I spoke with Greg. He is also going to try to join us on the AIDS Walk. You should, too!
Afterwards, we went to Joe's Pub to watch Bridget Everett who managed to make me laugh, cry and make my jaw drop at least a dozen times. Joe's Pub is such a great venue, but boy their drinks are expensive! $11 for a glass of wine?! I'd love to produce an event there, but holy crow I can't imagine making my guests pay that much.
On the Tee Vee
Christian's appearance on the Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson airs tonight. I'll post the clip tomorrow or Wednesday, so don't fret it you don't have TiVO.
Movies
Heidi and I both thought Inside Manwas terrific, and I'll probably go see it again with Christian. Director Spike Lee and writer Russell Gerwitz obviously love New York and the people who make this city so great. The performances were superb including a really hot looking Jodie Foster.
Later at my place, we watched the documentary Murderball which we equally enjoyed. Two good movies in one day also filled with great conversation seems too rare these days! After all that relaxation, fun & bonding time, I'm woefully behind.
--Kambri Back to work!
Link - 7:17 PM -
Saturday, April 08, 2006
The Latest Ballyhoo Check out the Latest Ballyhoo. Now that that's out of the way, it's time to go have a fun girly day with my friend Heidi.
Later, though, look for an entry about my latest letter from My Jailed Deaf Dad and about fortune cookies.
--Kambri Out.
Link - 2:42 PM -
Friday, April 07, 2006
UPDATE: Christian's set will air this Monday night, April 10th!
Christian Finnegan, my oft talked about client and fiance, will be on Comedy Central tonight when they re-air his 1/2 hour special, Comedy Central Presents: Christian Finnegan, tonight during Stand Up Nation with Greg Giraldo beginning at 9:00 PM EST. Still no word on when his appearance on the Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson will air.
Last night I had great fun with my Tex in the City friends Kevin & Scott. At one point Scott & I ended up with Scott's boyfriend Brian at a divey gay bar in the village. The bar was playing "post office", which is a really fun, clever idea for anyone wanting to have a singles "meet & greet" type party or fundraiser. Basically, everyone who wants to participate wears a sticker with a number on it. Anyone can write a letter to anyone else by writing a note with that person's number and giving it to the mailman. You have the option of signing it with your number or leaving it anonymous. The mailman then delivers the mail to the recipient who then reads your note and so on. You get the idea.
I was the only girl there but wanted to play, so I wrote our bartender (#69, heh heh), "You are so hot, I need two glasses of water to cool me off. Oh, and a pinot grigio when you have a second." He thought it was funny and I got my drinks faster than I would have. Soon, I too had mail. It was from #69, "How hot r you under all those clothes! Don't be shy, take that jacket off." Mwah. Flirting with gay men is the best.
Finally caught Paquita & Maybelline on tape but Paquita is too conscious of my presence.
--Kambri Link - 12:14 PM -
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The Deaf World is a Small One
The same day I was writing about walking in memory of Lisa Hillard, her mother June passed away. This made me go a-Google-ing where I found this site which lists my uncle Darold and my surrogate dad George as two deaf men lost to AIDS. The list is thankfully short but two too long in my opinion.
Best of all, it made me find this site which is a list of 1971 graduates from the Oklahoma School for the Deaf (yes, that's all of them on one small little page!) and not only is Darold listed, but my mom's sister Carlina (Carly), her husband & Darold's twin brother Douglass, and my dad's sister Reba. That's four out of fifteen directly related to me. Strange.
So then I found this page which is my Jailed Deaf Dad's 1966 graduation class (ONLY SEVEN!) and this page with my mom (mispelled as Christie Worh) and her graduation class of 1965 with a whopping eight students.
This class of 1944 has a lady named Ruby who I met as a teller in Akron, OH when I was working my way through college. Here's a funny story about her & her husband:
They used to come in to my bank and go to the same teller all the time because they were deaf and she was able to figure out what they needed without sign language. So, one day, I made sure they came to my window instead. They were thrilled to know they could come to a bank and get service in sign language. What a concept! They asked my name and who my family was so I told them Crews from Oklahoma but my mother's maiden name was Worth. They pondered for a while and realized Mr. Westlake had worked with my mom's dad in a plant in Tulsa!
From that day forward, they waited for my window to open up. One Friday afternoon there was a particularly long line being payday and first day of the month. Mr. & Mrs. Westlake arrived and waited for me as usual. We signed our hello's and they let me know they had a deaf friend at the bank that they had sent my way. I made sure they knew I would take care of them.
So, when my next customer approached and greeted me in sign language I said, "Hi, are you friends with Mr. & Mrs. Westlake?"
"No, I don't know them," they replied matter of factly.
"Hmm...really? That's weird." We made chit chat, I did their banking and on their way they went.
The next customer approached and they were deaf, too. They were friends with the Westlakes and they were so happy to know I could help them with all their needs and on their way they went.
The next customer approached and they TOO were deaf. They knew neither the Westlakes, the Westlakes' friends or the other random customer, they had just "heard through the grapevine" about me. Cool, right? I finished their transaction and on their way they went.
The next customer approached and hesitantly whispered, "Can you hear?"
--Kambri Half of those people listed are hopefully going to be in NYC to see me & Christian get hitched. Weird.
Link - 11:58 PM -
Random Stuff Mixed With Stuff I Really Want to Know
I'm looking for a company who produces custom stickers and postcards. Any recommendations?
I hate empire waste styles unless they show lots of boobies, otherwise it's just midwestern maternity garb or a PMS cover-up. Which reminds me...anyone hear of the "Midwestern or Lesbian" website? It's a quiz site where you have to decide if a a woman is a lesbian or just midwestern based on her photo. As someone who lived in Ohio for ten years, this amuses me greatly but I can't find it anywhere.
Christian left me for that bitch L.A. this morning. I'll see him again on the 15th, I think, but I can't really keep track anymore. Turns out Craig Ferguson has had some schedule changes so Christian will be recording his set tonight! Air date TBD. He was bummed since he didn't have a chance to get any practice sets in under his belt. Note: They make him decide on and transcribe his set list and submit it ahead of time for review. Then they make him edit it for the tee vee which means removing curse words, name brands anything else that will make the FCC get hard. That means he has never said his cleaned up set out loud in front of an audience. He's a professional, so he'll be fine but it's just another wrench he has to dodge or a bullet in the works or whatever...you get my drift.
AIDS Walk New York I and a few of my Tex in the City friends are getting a team together to "change the course of an epidemic" by walking 6.2 miles through Manhattan for the annual AIDS Walk New York. We had a lot of fun the last time we did it and managed to raise a decent sum of money, so we figured what the heck...let's do it again! So Gawker Stalker, on May 21st you can find me somewhere in or near Central Park.
Even Paquita took part and she will lead us again this year when I walk in memory of my uncle Darold Carnes and surrogate dad George Zein, Jr. (both of whom are listed on this Deaf Lost to HIV/AIDS site) and family friend Lisa Hillard. May they rest in peace and may a cure be found.
Last year we capped off the walking by drinking wine at an outdoor cafe and resting our tootsies. Paquita was too zonked to even beg for food! I wonder if she dreamt of meeting John Spencer?
Want to join in on the fun? Fill out this form and show up with your walking shoes.
--Kambri You'll get a free t-shirt and some exercise, too.
Link - 9:00 PM -
Monday, April 03, 2006
Somebody's on a Roll! TV Land picked up Game Time, hosted by fiance and comedian extraordinaire, Christian Finnegan, for another season. They've re-worked the structure to be more "Man on the Street" type skits which I think will be a huge improvement in time, budget and viewer interest.
Mark your calendars for April 10th when Christian will perform on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS. Why, yes, that is his second national spot on a late night talk show within two weeks. Awesome!
Stay tuned for news about an upcoming CD by Mr. Finnegan and a chance to get a credit in the liner notes (and maybe another prize) by naming his debut CD.
But don't be too jealous. Since Christian never made peace with the Travel Gods, he continually finds himself on the losing end of delays, cancellations, missed flights and other crappy, hacky-comedy-worthy situations. In other words, he just missed his flight which meant he could have gone to the VH1 Save the Music party at Dave & Busters tonight instead of sitting in a smelly cab, in the pouring rain, stuck in traffic on the 59th Street Bridge.
--Kambri "Just be nice to me," he pleaded on the phone. Awww. I guess I won't mention my Travel God advice again until tomorrow.
Link - 7:03 PM -
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Happy Birthday to Christian!
As a birthday gift, NBC aired Christian's appearance on Last Call with Carson Daly. Here's the clip featuring a whopping four minutes of stand up by the birthday boy. Watch it here.
This is the first year I haven't baked him a cake since we cut sugar out of our diet for our New Year's resolution. I feel like a slacker somehow. I treated him to a free viewing of all the Beastie Boys videos directed by "Nathanial Hornblower" (aka Beastie Boy member MCA) at the AMMI. It was us and two girls when the show started and at the end we all clapped. On our way out we noticed a man had snuck in while the lights were out. That man? MCA / Nathanial Hornblower. Christian was so excited he interrupted MCA's conversation with the two girls to introduce himself. Yay! Then I treated him to afternoon booze and food at a pub where we played video games till we ran out of singles.
I and a few of my