If you like comedy, PR or the occasional inside scoop on the entertainment world, then drop by for a daily dose written by me, Kambri Crews, producer and publicist to comedians and more!   Friday, January 15, 2010 And on the 7th anniversary, Christian shall urinate while talking on the phone with me. --Kambri The upside: he was in the dressing room on the set of a new sitcom he's on. Link - 4:10 PM -   Sunday, January 10, 2010 I Just Wanted Coffee. Is That Too Much to Ask? This morning I went to my normal Sunday deli, my regular deli being closed on the Seventh Day. Back home, I settled into my leather recliner, newspaper in one hand, homemade Deaf Hope coffee mug filled to the brim in the other. The coffee had more half & half than I would like, but whatever. Then I tasted it. Blech. The cream was sour. So I dumped the coffee and waited an hour and a half for the corner cafe to open up. Cafe el Maya is a new little mom and pop operation and serve up delicious tacos and burritos. They've been advertising breakfast and I loved the idea of supporting them. I was the only customer so sat down at a big table and requested a cup of coffee with a little half and half. What I got was a bowl of half and half with a splash of coffee. I *wish* I were exaggerating. I was a little embarrassed to ask for it to be fixed -- I try not to be a high maintenance customer, especially in a little shop like this, but I am a regular and, well, I was jonesing for java. It took three tries but finally I got a steaming cup of delicious coffee while I waited for my ham, cheese and onion omelette. What came out was a plate of thin, fried egg thing with no ham, no cheese, no onions and two slices of dry white toast. No butter or jam. After the frustrating coffee exchange, I just didn't have it in me to send it back and *hope* they'd get it right. I was so hungry and in need of coffee that I felt exceptionally angry and helpless that I couldn't just get a simple, no frills order. I finished my coffee, left the plate of food untouched except for the one bite I took to see if maybe there was ham, cheese & onion hidden in the eggs that I just couldn't see, paid the $5 bill and walked to Panera. At least there, I knew I could get coffee. I just missed Panera's breakfast so wasn't able to get an egg souffle but no matter, there were tons of other tasty choices. There was plenty of coffee, served however I liked, reasonably priced and served quickly. Panera was packed full of happy looking people, laughing, chatting or using the free WiFi. As much as I hate the homogenization of America and my little area of Astoria, Queens, I was thanking God for this chain restaurant for getting everything right. And it seemed like every other person in Astoria had already figured it out. I suppose that's why chains exist and take over the quaint towns of the nation, but it makes me sad. I will never give Cafe el Maya another chance except for the 2:00 AM $2 chicken taco at. They do get those right. Or do they? It could be that I'm just too drunk to care. I'm a sell out. A sated, full, caffeinated sell out. --Kambri Going to Subway for lunch and Applebees for dinner and Regal Cinemas for my entertainment. Link - 2:56 PM -